offering advice

[jadelennox]

I know that offering and receiving advice is incredibly touchy subject both for people with disabilities and for allies. For me, I would appreciate it if advice were only offered within a set of frameworks that I have finally got around to telling my friends.

Help is different from advice, of course. If somebody wants to offer to help, that's usually great, as long as they take no for an answer. But advice, well, that taps into all kinds of deep issues, and if you don't know for certain what kind of advice I welcome, I would really much rather you don't offer any. This includes probing questions about why I am following or not following a particular behavior pattern, course of treatment, or accessibility adaptation. Please, just don't go there.

Comments

[colorwheel]

advice, well, that taps into all kinds of deep issues, and if you don't know for certain what kind of advice I welcome, I would really much rather you don't offer any. This includes probing questions about why I am following or not following a particular behavior pattern, course of treatment, or accessibility adaptation. Please, just don't go there.

me too.

[asimaiyat]

Thanks for this. A manager at work tried to coach me on overcoming my panic disorder by telling me to "try to just not think like that." Helpful! Often that kind of advice comes off as "please be less disabled, for my convenience."

[colorwheel]

"please be less disabled, for my convenience."

HA! well phrased. :)

[apple-annie.livejournal.com]

A manager at work tried to coach me on overcoming my panic disorder by telling me to "try to just not think like that."

Classic.

If I could control my thought-spirals, it wouldn't be a DISORDER. Furthermore, drawing attention to the fact that I don't have control only exacerbates the problem.


Aside, to mods:
I think I would like to read/write more about panic disorder, but I'm not sure if what I want to hear/say fits within the context of this blog.

[colorwheel]

Aside, to mods: I think I would like to read/write more about panic disorder, but I'm not sure if what I want to hear/say fits within the context of this blog.

for general reading and writing about any particular disability, this isn't the place (though do go search around online -- there are lots of less-specific disability communities out there); but for posting tips about how people in one's life can make things more accessible as relates to one's own disability, this is the place. jadelennox did a good job writing it up in our profile.